what? it's cold in syria?

So. Context of my life right now: it's pouring out and freezing; I of course didn't anticipate either so have no warm or waterproof clothes or shoes. Soaking wet from walking home from the bus stop. When I get home our gas tank is empty, so we can't cook or heat water. My room, which is realistically a closet-sized shack with a broken window on our building's roof, is not only heatless but it is now leaking. We have no entertainment: no dvd-player, no new books, and no games. We now basically have no way to dry ourselves, warm ourselves, or cook. So I am sitting curled up on a bed in Syria, basically unable to leave my room, a cup balanced next to me to catch to rain drops that would be on my pillow, finishing the seventh Harry Potter, which i've already read this month, and eating blue cheese dressing with a fork (though to be honest I couldn't be more thrilled to have finally found this). Good times, good times...

Going back and forth between feeling like I could live here forever and really missing home. I had a moment in a cab yesterday, when I was coming back from shopping at Sham City Center, the western supermarket (finallllly have some peanut-butter and soup!), and I was looking out of the window at all of the specks of light that cover the mountain next to the city. And I realized that I could really live here. For more than just 8 months; I could see myself getting a job here in the future. It's such a simple thing, but I know that when I get back to the U.S., I am going to miss the mosques. They bring such intricate beauty and tradition to the city. Whenever you drive around in a bus or cab, you drive by tens of sparkling teal and ivory mosques, though they may neighbor a market or hotel or even Costa Coffee. And when you walk on the streets, you see girls wearing 4-inch red heals with a matching Chanel hijab next to women in covered completely in black clothe. There is just such a richness to the culture of Damascus that I love, and such diversity. Even the terrain of the city itself: the Jebel, with scattered buildings covering it, towering next to the city; the viney allies of the Old City; the desert-rimmed highways of Mezzah. The only constant pitfalls to my life here are the slightly lessened living standards, the language barrier, and the harassment that comes from being a woman. The living standards and language barrier just cause me to push myself, and in my opinion, everyone can use more of that... The harassment comes and goes, at varying levels, and never gets any easier to accept. But it has given me a sort of anger that has if anything has led to empowerment, and the hard-set idea that every woman is entitled to complete respect. This empowerment is only enhanced by the strength and sassiness and opinionated demeanor of every woman I've met here.

The tough part is really missing my friends and family. In the last week, three of my very best friends had their birthdays, two of them having their 21st birthdays. It sucks not to be back with them. That, compiled with being sick and therefore emotional for the last few days, has really made me long for everything I'm missing. Sitting in my best friend's basement for hours, walks around the National Mall, random texts about music lyrics, laughing at our own awkwardness, eating Chinese food or soy buffalo wings and making lists :) Haha, no better moments in the world than these. I just miss beeeeing with all of my best friends, and talking to them. Could not love them more <3